How To Live Again?
by MissKate16
Summary: harry has lost so many loved ones, because of voldemort. now he is defeated, how will harry continue his life? how can he face the only family he has ever had, when he blames himself for their only daughters death?


Harry sat looking out into the dark midnight sky. as he did often many nights before. He just sat there thinking, in his office at Hogwarts, what he did to deserve such excruciating pain. The war was over, but the pain he carried lingered in his heart forever. His parents, dead, Sirus, dead, Dumbledore, dead, Ginny, dead, Lupin, dead. All the people he cared about, died in order for Harry to keep going, to keep living. But Harry felt he had nothing to live for.

His love of his life was dead, Ginny Weasly. Harry remembered that night so vividly in his mind. It kept replying in his head. He was in a duel with Lucious Malfoy, and Harry was loosing. But only by a whisker. While Harry turned his focus on Ron, for just a second, Lucious took that second at his advantage. He used the killing curse, which would have killed Harry, if Ginny hadn't jumped in the way of it. Harry watched her beauty fall to the unworthy ground. He knelt down in shock, crying over her lifeless body. She looked like she was in a deep sleep, never to be woken up again. Out of rage and fury, he killed Lucious.

Harry shook his head, and his tears fell from his pure green eyes onto his hand. He was trying so hard to be strong, but while he was alone, his emotions over took him. Every night, for the past seven years, Harry's tears shed. Even though the wizarding world was at peace, and there was no more Volemort, Harry was replying the war, trying to find a way he could have saved, Everone he loved.

A knock at his door, made Harry jump. "Just a minute," Harry said, and wiped away his tears of loss. Harry put on his face that hid how he was really feeling, like dieing inside. He opened the door to find the charms teacher standing there. "Harry, have you had dinner yet? You look starved, come on, I'll take you down to the kitchens. And I'm not going to take no for an answer." Harry stared at her in disbelief. However, he found he had no choice but to follow her down to the kitchens.

Harry noticed this wasn't the way to the kitchens. It was the way to the grounds. "Hermione, this isn't the way to the kitchens". Hermione stopped in her tracks and turned to face Harry. "It's the bloody Christmas holidays, and you haven't seen the outside at all, let alone the human race. I'm not going to tell you where we're going because you will hex me if I tell you. However, if I must remind you I am the charms teacher, so I will not hesitate to use my knowledge Harry Potter"

Harry took her words in, and couldn't believe what he was hearing. He hadn't seen the Weasly's since the war, seven long years before, because he still blamed himself over her death. He put two and two together and stared at Hermione. How dare she! He couldn't go to the family he had ever known and face them, he wouldn't. "No Hermione I'm not going to the Weasly's for Christmas. You know I can't!" Hermione looked defeated. She had had this conversation many times, and nothing had proven successful. However, this time she had an idea. "All right Harry, but the Wasleys told me to give you this, as a present for Christmas. Harry looked at Hermione, and took the present unwillingly. As soon as Harry's hands grasped the present, he felt the sensation of a whirling. Damn Hermione he thought. This was no present, it was a port key. And Harry knew exactly where he was going, and there was absolutely no way of stopping him.

"Harry!" screeched Mrs. Wesley. Harry was suddenly embraced into a hug of love, longing and compassion. Finally, after what felt like hours, Mr. Wesley spoke up, "Molly if you hug Harry any longer he will surely suffocate. Molly let go of Harry" Mrs. Wesley took a proper good look at him. Harry felt her eyes on him, waiting for a word from him, any word, for it had been so long since there last meeting. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Wesley. Umm, well, I didn't mean to intrude. Hermione…"Harry was cut off when he heard an all too familiar voice. One he could strangle at the precise moment, but also thank her for what she did. "Did someone say my name? Oh Harry good you arrived. Molly it took a lot of persuasion for him to make it here tonight." She looked at Harry warningly, as if to say 'don't-you-dare-say-a-word'. He took the hint and walked into the kitchen. He smelt the recognizable fumes of the Wesley kitchen. As Harry was refilling on the amazing scent he missed for so long, he was interrupted. "Harry, can I talk to you for a minute?" Harry turned his head at the voice, and realized it was George. "Sure".

There was uneasiness in the way George spoke that shied Harry away a little. "Harry, first off I want to say I'm quite disappointed that you haven't come sooner. We have all missed you here, especially Ron. He was taken it very personally Harry, he doesn't know what he did wrong. Secondly, none of us blame you for Ginny's death," Harry winced at her name. he never winced at lord voldemorts name, like everyone else did. But her name, it had more control over him than any name. "And we certainly don't need you to drown in self pitty either. So please, regain your friendship with Ron, all of us, so we can become a family again."

George left Harry astonished, since when was he ever serious. However, every word George spoke was true, but he didn't want to face Ron. It was too hard. But in his heart, he knew he needed to. So Harry made his way up to Ron's bedroom, and stood outside his door before entering. He hesitated for only a moment, and realized it was the best thing. He knocked, and in no time at all Ron appeared. He looked older, more mature in a way. His eyes were full of love, something Harry hadn't seen since his departure seven long years ago. But behind Ron's features, Harry still saw the best friend he had ever had.

"Harry, I didn't know you were coming this Christmas, since you never come anymore, for anything." there was a bitterness in his voice that Harry realised Ron was angry at him. But who wouldn't be angry at a murderous, self pitting guy. Harry mumbled "I didn't either" Ron looked at him for a further explanation, and Harry felt obliged to tell him everyting, his whole life over the last seven years. Once he had finished, he looked at Ron, expecting him to tell him to get out, for killing his sister. But, he looked at Harry with grief. "I knew most of what you said, Hermione and I are together, and she told me most things, but I didn't know about her transporting you here, god she is cleaver." Ron grinned at himself, and Harry found himself grinning aswell. Once again, Ron and Harry connected, like the old times.

There was a knock at the door of Ron's room. For a moment Harry thought it was Ginny, and then the feeling of the hole in his heart told him he was entirely wrong. Instead, it was Hermione. Harry thought now it was a good time to speak to her. However, before he could, Hermione jumped in. "Harry, I know you are going to be angry at me. But don't you see I had to do it. It was the only way for you to see the family you have. We have all missed you. Even me, I see you everyday at Hogwarts, yes, but that isn't you. The Harry I know is in there somewhere, but has been lost for seven years. SEVEN years Harry. I thought, maybe, if you were reunited with the people closest to you, you might come back."

All Harry's anger toward her completely disappeared, she had got the message right, but went about it the wrong way. the weasleys harry had never really forgotten, he would always love them. but there was someone else he needed to see. someone he needed to talk to, to see what they thought.


End file.
